Must Family Come First - and Must Parnassah Come Second?

Benefiting From Withholding Tzedokah

Question

I have a relative who is struggling financially and needs a significant amount of money each month just to get by. I have a certain amount of money that I give every month, and if I take care of his needs, I will not be able to give to anyone else. Since relatives come first, I would like to know if I am obligated to give him all of my tzedokah money and not give to any other tzedakos.

While we are on the subject of tzedokah, I have the following question. The Gemara in Nedorim (33b) states that a person who is guarding a lost object has the din of a shomer sochor because of the perutah of Rav Yosef, i.e., if a poor person comes to the door to collect, he is exempt from giving him tzedokah.

Yet, the Torah teaches us, “Nason titein lo… ki biglal hadovor hazeh yevorechecha Hashem Elokecha bechol maaseh yodecha.” If giving tzedokah brings the brocha of Hashem, how can saving money by not giving tzedokah be considered a financial gain that makes a person a shomer sochor? (Afterward, I saw that Rav Perlow, at the end of his commentary on the Mitzvos Aseh of Rav Saadya Gaon [25], asks this question.)

I heard from a rov that perhaps the answer is that since the shomer aveidah was doing what the Torah obligated him to do, he would not lose one iota of the brocha that giving tzedokah brings. Just the opposite—if he were to give tzedokah at that time and be negligent in his responsibilities as a shomer, that could decrease the amount of blessing he receives. I would like to know what Rav Auerbach says about these questions.

Thank you.

L. M.

Lakewood, NJ

Rav Auerbach

As far as your question about giving to relatives is concerned, you are obligated to prioritize your family before others, but you do not have to give away all of your tzedokah money in the process. The Chofetz Chaim says that you should give your relative a mechubadike nedovah—for example, five times more than you would normally give—and that way your relative will be happy with your gift.

Your question about benefiting from tzedokah can be answered easily. Since we have the rule of oseik b’mitzvah potur min hamitzvah, if a poor person were to come to the door, the shomer would be exempt from giving tzedokah. Since there is no mitzvah to give tzedokah in that situation, it is considered like he received a perutah, which makes him a shomer sochor.

Kosher Work Enviroments

Question

I work as a computer technician in a yeshiva and the job does not provide sufficient parnossah to support my family. I could look for a higher-paying job, but the city in which I live is very porutz, and another job would most likely be in a place where the level of tznius is poor.

My question is: Does my chiyuv hishtadlus obligate me to leave my job in the yeshiva and take a job elsewhere, or can I remain in the yeshiva and rely on Hashem to send me my missing parnossah in other ways?

M. L.

Florida

Rav Zafrani

You should remain at your job in the yeshiva, and be’ezras Hashem you will receive parnossah b’shefa.

Rav Auerbach

A person is obligated to give up all of his income rather than violate a mitzvas lo sa’aseh, and being in an environment of pritzus is certainly included in this. Therefore, I am in complete agreement with the raavad, Rav Sternbuch. You should remain in the yeshiva, and Hashem will take care of your additional parnossah needs.