Feeding Workers Basar B’Chalav & Dividing Shadchanus Money

Feeding Workers Basar B'Chalav

Question

I run a big store in New Jersey where the workers are not Jewish. Every day, I make sure we have food for the workers, but today I forgot to take care of this. This morning, I gave a sum of money to the manager to purchase food for the workers, and he purchased food that was real bosor b’cholov, i.e., milk and meat that were actually cooked together.

I know that in addition to the prohibition to eat bosor b’cholov, it is also prohibited to have benefit from bosor b’cholov. My question is: Is it permitted for my manager to serve this bosor b’cholov to my workers or do I need to cut my loss and order new food?

Thank you.

B. M.

Deal, New Jersey

Rav Zafrani

You are on target with your question. Since the non-Jew was acting as your agent to purchase the food, and you are benefiting by having your workers fed, this case definitely presents a question of benefiting from bosor b’cholov.

You are also correct in your evaluation, for had you told me that he bought cold sandwiches that were composed of milk and meat, or even if they were heated up but to less than yad soledes bo, there would be no issue, since the prohibition of benefiting only applies to bosor b’cholov that has been cooked together.

However, there is another issue that you did not take into account, which we need to consider before answering your question. In all likelihood, your non-Jewish manager purchased meat that was neveilah. There is a discussion among the poskim (see Yoreh Deah 87:4, Pischei Teshuvah 87:6) whether the issur of bosor b’cholov applies to meat that is neveilah.

Since there are poskim who rule leniently in a case of financial loss (see Dagul Meirvavah), I cannot tell you to throw the food away. However, since this is a machlokes regarding the Torah prohibition of benefiting from bosor b’cholov and there is not a clear p’sak halacha l’maaseh on this issue, I suggest that you do not give this food to your workers.

Shadchanus Money

Question

I just made a shidduch, and while I did not think of the idea, I did set up all the dates and was the go-between for the two sides from start to finish. The two sides want to pay for shadchanus, and they are asking if I should get all of the shadchanus money or if some of the money should go to the person who thought of the idea.

Thank you.

L. S.

Rav Zafrani

While matching two people together in a shidduch is certainly a very special talent and a great chesed for which one will definitely be rewarded in the next world, in the realm of Choshen Mishpot, a person does not get paid for that. Shadchanus is dmei tivuch, i.e., the money paid for being a go-between for two parties.

Practically speaking, this means that a third of the money goes to the maschil, the person who started the ball rolling by setting up the first date; a third of the money goes to the emtza’i, the person who did the back-and-forth between the two sides; and a third of the money goes to the gomer, the person who concluded the shidduch.

Based on the way you presented the question, this means that the payment goes for the work that you did and not to the person who thought of the idea. If the person who thought of the idea also did other work and/or the two sides really think he should be included in the distribution, you can give him half of the money for the maschil, i.e., a sixth of the total sum.