A Shabbos Dress with Strings Attached

Question

I have an exquisite Shabbos dress that has strings on the inside. When I want to expand the dress, I undo the knots in the strings, and when I want to contract the dress, I retie the knot in the strings. Over the years, while I was expecting, I opened the knots and afterwards retied them. Ten years ago, after I had my last child, I tied the knot with the intention that I would be untying it again.

Last Shabbos, my sister made a sheva brachos for her only daughter. Friday night, her dress got soiled and she did not have any other clean dress that she felt was appropriate for this joyous occasion. I thought about lending her the Shabbos dress with the strings attached, but the problem was that she is heavier than me and she could only wear the dress if the knots were taken out. We live next door to an extremely lenient rov, and when we asked him this question, he said that it was permitted for us to ask one non-Jew to ask another non-Jew to open the knots.

One of my sons, who is the machmir type, protested, since he was worried that maybe this might be chillul Shabbos. He was very firm with my sister not to ask the non-Jews to undo the knots, and after much protest, my sister wore a plain weekday dress.

My sister was clearly embarrassed to wear such a dress for the Shabbos sheva brachos. After the fact, I would like to ask Rav Auerbach if my sister had to suffer such pain when the rov next door said we could be lenient. We want to ask Rav Auerbach what the best course of action would have been.

Thank you.

Raizy

Rav Auerbach 

In general, I would agree with your son. People are much too lenient when it comes to asking a non-Jew to do melacha on Shabbos, and if this can be avoided, it should be.

Harav Hamatir

However, in this case, I believe that your son was mistaken, and it would have been fine for you to listen to the next-door rov’s ruling. Even in a case of great need, such as the one you describe, the Rambam and Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chaim 307:5) only permit shevus d’shevus, i.e., asking a non-Jew to do an issur derabbonon on Shabbos. For this reason, in most cases, we do not permit asking a non-Jew to perform a Torah prohibition on Shabbos.

In your case, since the non-Jew is untying the dress in order to expand it and not for the purpose of retying it after Shabbos, this is not called being matir the knot for the purpose of retying it (Shulchan Shlomo 317:B1).

Untying for the Purpose of Retying (Matir Al Menas Likshor)

However, in the case you describe, there are a number of factors to consider. The first factor is that although the Rambam (Hilchos Shabbos 10:7) states that any time one undoes a permanent knot, it constitutes the Torah prohibition of mattir, according to some Rishonim (Rosh, Shabbos 2:18), undoing a knot is only a Torah prohibition if one plans to retie it right away.

In your case, since the non-Jew is untying the dress in order to expand it and not for the purpose of retying it after Shabbos, it is not called being matir the knot for the purpose of retying it (Shulchan Shlomo 317:B1). Even though the slimmer sister, who is the owner of the dress, will most likely tie the knot afterward for her personal use, nevertheless, since this is not the reason the dress was untied, the untying is not a Torah prohibition.

The Human Dignity Factor

A second factor to consider is kavod habriyos, the human dignity factor. Shu”t Shoel Umeishiv (4:2:86) writes that if a man’s kittel got soiled on Yom Kippur, he can ask a non-Jew to wash it. Even though washing clothes is a Torah prohibition, nevertheless, since kavod habriyos is so important, we permit asking a non-Jew to perform a Torah prohibition.

[When we consulted with my rebbetzin about whether this question is a case of kavod habriyos, she replied as follows: If a man’s hat gets dirty, at times he can still wear it, since for a man, leaving it that way is kavod Shabbos. However, a woman feels pained to wear a dirty garment, and similarly, if she does not have an appropriate garment to wear, she will feel hurt.]

Based on the above two factors, I believe that since it is very important for this woman to have an honorable dress for her only daughter’s simcha, one can rely on the opinions that permit amira d’amira, i.e., that the Jew asks one goy to ask another goy to undo the knot. Many poskim rely on this heter, and especially in a case where there are other reasons to be lenient, I believe that one can rely on this leniency.