Dealing With Many Years of Shidduchim

Question

I feel like we have done so much davening for my daughters in shidduchim, done so many things, shed so many tears, pleaded from the depths of our souls, and have done things that I never thought I could do, reaching places I never thought I could, devoting so much time, doing so much hishtadlus, that I just can’t anymore. I’m stripped down to just repeating over and over and over again “Ein od milvado, ein od milvado, ein od milvado.” Al pi teva, it is so scary and looks so helpless.

Although I am so depleted and finding it harder and harder to daven all the formal tefillos I have been davening, I can only keep begging Hashem to show us His chesed and bring my children to a place where they will have the zechus of getting married and building botei ne’eman b’Yisroel and being neshei chayil and eim habonim semeichim. Please, Hashem, You created them, You gave them everything they have, You made them everything they are, and only You can find them their zivugim and make this happen.

I am totally humbled. I continue to talk to Hashem in whatever way I can. I can’t do more. I’m indebted to all the people who think about us and any efforts they make on our behalf. It’s humbling and makes us say, “Mi ke’amcha Yisroel.”

Rav Auerbach 

I feel the greatest heartfelt empathy for your struggle. It is an extremely difficult nisayon for you to go through having to wait so long for your daughter to find her bashert. First of all, I want to give your daughter -- -- -- bas -- -- a brocha from the depths of my heart that she should find her zivug soon.

Secondly, you should not stop the tefillos or zechuyos that you are doing for your daughter. Just the opposite – the reward is according to the difficulty. You get at least double or triple credit for the tefillos and other zechuyos that you perform when it is so hard. It is very dear to Hashem to continue when it is so difficult, for this shows your true love of Him and your acceptance of His will even though you do not understand it.

Be’ezras Hashem, in the zechus of the tefillos and the chesed, your daughter will find her zivug soon.